Is it a crime to only have one child?

Last night I went out to dinner with one of my BEST friends, and just like every time we get together we started talking about our lives but mainly our children. Amanda is the mother of two healthy beautiful little boys. Her oldest son is just a little older than Cohen, and her youngest is only about 2 months old. During our conversation I told her that I've decided that I want Cohen to be my only child. Being that Amanda and I almost always understand and agree with one another, she didn't look at me with shock/disgust/confusion on her face like most people do when I say this. She understood my reasoning's and did not immediately look at me like I was a bad mother for only wanting one.

So why is it that others look at me that way? I love my son with everything I have and he is my ABSOLUTE world, so is it really that wrong of me to only want him?

Growing up I knew that I always wanted to be a mom and I always said that I only wanted two children. Preferably a boy and girl. I never wanted to be that family of 10 kids and one on the way. Now I don't look down on those that do (unless they are not the ones doing the parenting and not taking care of their children...that really gets under my skin) and for some people that is their dream. I on the other hand wanted a much smaller dream, and now that I have a child of my own my dreams have changed. Is it really right of people to question my love for my son or label me as selfish?

I don't come from a blended family of step parents and step siblings. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and my brother and I are full blood siblings, so naturally that's the life I dreamed of. That dream however, is not what I got. I accidentally became pregnant with my son and I was not in love with his father. Even though it breaks my heart that I gave my son such rocky foundation, I still stand by every decision I've made for him. I stand by the fact that I chose to keep him and not go with abortion or adoption, because I knew I would regret it and although things weren't perfect he was still my son and I WANTED him. I stand by the fact that I chose not to be with his father, because I wanted to hold out for real love that my son could grow up and admire. I wanted him to know what love was and I knew that if I stayed or married his father his life would be full of pain and constant fighting. I WANTED better for him! I made these choices and I stand by every one of them. Yes, I gave my son a rocky start but I have spent every day since making it up to him and giving him the best life I possibly can. He may not have his parents together but he has a happy life. He has two parents that love him unconditionally and have learned to be friends.

I have my reasons for Cohen being an only child and I fully believe they are justifiable.

Reason 1. Yes technically I have only one child, but there are three children in my life. I have a niece and nephew that I see every other weekend, and I love them as if they were my own. They have parents and I'm not trying to replace them, but I do consider myself to be a big part of their life and believe it's important for me to be a good role model for them. I love and worry over them and their future just as much as I do my own son. If something were to happen to their parents, you could put money down on the fact that I would be the first to step up for them without any hesitation. So because Cohen and I are so close with my niece and nephew, I don't feel like either of us missing out by not adding more to the family. He is extremely close to his cousins, so much so that I don't feel like he is missing out on sibling like experiences. As for me, I go to their soccer games and pageants. I'm one of the first to cheer them on in the things they do and I LOVE being their aunt! I brag about them just as much as I do Cohen. So my life is not missing the feeling of having multiple children that I can love and be proud of.

Reason 2. It is very likely that if I get married I will probably marry someone who already has children and this is not an issue for me. I enjoy children and there is not a doubt in my mind that I couldn't love more than the three I already do. With that being said, it is a given that I will be financially helping to support multiple children. I want the children in my life to have the things they want/need and it not be a struggle.

Reason 3. Unfortunately these days most people do not stay together for 30 years anymore. Most people find it too easy to just get divorced. As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I don't want to ever be divorced. When I decide to marry someone I want it to be a one time thing, but I'm terrified that although I can marry someone who tells me they want the same thing I could still find out later that it's not the truth. So to marry someone who will probably already have children, have a child with that man and then turn around and get divorced is pain and guilt I wouldn't be able to handle. It's hard enough to share one child in different homes, let alone having to share two children in two DIFFERENT homes. Not to mention I would have to add in the pain of not being able to see the step children I would so naturally become attached to.

I am content with the children currently in my life, and more than happy to accept and love any future ones that may come along. So why do people want to think negatively about me only having one, when all I want is the best for my family and future family?